hello, friends! well, the mother's day ordeal is over, and if i had a bottle of champagne in the fridge, i'd drink a mimosa to that, but all i have is a bottle of cheap wine. and come to think of it, i might just enjoy a glass whilst i sit here eating my salad. i have one of those 20 pound bags of real bacon bits from sam's club and they're delicious on salads. side note, yes, i just admitted i eat meat, which i hear is an offense punishable by death in some blogging circles. well, bring on the guillotine because this bitch is tasty. but back to the point. as i sit here eating my salad with meat in my completely un-chic, squeaky, and old-but-not-in-a-good-way desk chair, i feel i need to do a public service announcement, blog service announcement, whatever. i am not a fashion expert, nor am i designing a collection for the house of danish. no, i'm just a blogger with common sense. there are a lot of "trends" i don't understand, for example: lady gaga anything, girls with bowl cuts, harem pants (i mean, come on, am i the only one who remembers how ridiculous m.c. hammer looked?), and most importantly and offensively, SOCKS WITH SANDALS.
and don't think that walking a llama on a leash exempts you, because it doesn't...you still look ridiculous! just because the socks cost $50 and the open toed super high fashion wedges cost $300 doesn't mean you look any less like an idiot than the stereotypical older male tourist who wears black socks with his flat sandals; the principle is still the same - you defeat the purpose of wearing sandals by putting on socks, and you look like a fucking idiot. not only that, but is my mind in the gutter or is this style a little disturbing on a whole other level? when i see colorful or lacy socks folded over, it reminds me of the kind little girls wear. so in addition to the rest of the ridiculousness, this style, to me, screams, "HEY OLDER MAN, I'M LOOKING FOR PEDOPHILE LOVIN' BUT I'M TOTALLY LEGAL...BARELY!" and that's just nasty.
i'm not without a few skeletons in my trend closet, but i can swear on angel feathers that you will never, EVER catch me wearing socks with sandals. no way, no how. the end.
